It’s over ninety degrees in NYC today. I’ve spent the day on my couch in front of my fan watching Netflix and eating homemade cookies… and I have ZERO regrets. Since I’m not leaving my apartment today, now would be a good time for us to talk right?
1. You’re allowed to have feelings.
As I’ve mentioned before, I have historically been the queen of suppressing my feelings. Our culture tells us that we need to climb high, work hard, party harder, look flawless, and find the perfect partner all without a single drop of sweat or forgetting to post to Instagram. The problem is that too often we’re going through the motions and not actually stopping to acknowledge our feelings. But no matter how long we avoid our feelings they tend to come out eventually. We can’t live life without feelings or risk. Applying for a job comes with the risk of being rejected. Studying for an exam comes with the risk of getting a less than perfect score. Opening up your heart to someone comes with the risk of hearing them say, “No thanks, I’m good.” It’s okay to be scared, excited, happy, sad, angry, hurt, and everything in between. Our feelings are what make us human. It’s what we do with them that matters.
2. Your space is sacred. Protect your it.
Lately I’ve been reminded that there are some areas in my life where I need to take a few steps back. I’ve had a bad habit of pouring into relationships and environments that don’t do the same for me. I’m working on changing that. If there’s something in your life that is not nourishing your soul, let it go. No job, relationship, or material object is worth your well-being. I’ve decided that if it costs my peace, then its too expensive. It’s that simple.
3. Self care is not optional.
My self-care is a journey, and most of the time I’m not even sure if I’m doing it “right”. Today its looks like sitting on my couch and eating cookies. Yesterday it looked like a boxing class at my local boxing club. (Shoutout to Women’s World of Boxing, in East Harlem!) Last weekend it looked liked dancing salsa for hours out in my neighborhood. And every week it looks like taking my butt to therapy to try to sort through my own traumas and make my way towards healing. No matter what your self-care looks, you have to be intentional about making it happen. You can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself first. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
4. It’s okay to take baby steps.
I’m often too hard on myself. I keep reminding myself that I don’t have to be a part of this culture of effortless perfection. I’m learning to take it one step at a time, no matter how small those steps are.
Love and light,
Felecia Shanice ❤